A Day of Travel

We left from our local airport late in the afternoon on Friday.  A big storm was coming through and our flight was delayed for de-icing.  It looked like we were getting out of town just in time.  Already people were unable to get to their destinations because of the weather.  We changed flights in Detroit with a 3-4 hour layover.  By the time we got a meal that would have been a lot better had it been warmer at Chili’s, went to the bathroom and got to our gate, the plane was already boarding.  That is perfect timing.  As is common on some international flights, the plane was not full and so we were able to take turns laying down in the center 4-seat wide section to sleep.  Before my turn I was able to watch the movie Up.  Well, actually I saw the little 7 or 8-year old girl across the aisle from me watching it, so brought it up on my TV unit.  I noticed a bit later that the young woman behind the little girl had started to watch Up also!  I wonder if the Up-idemic spread.  Another 4 hour layover in Amsterdam one gate down from the smoking area.  Now it is late in the afternoon in Europe.  After a city-hopper flight to Luxembourg, we arrive!  A co-worker was kind enough to pick us up on a Saturday afternoon and take us to pick up the company car.  Oh my!  A Mercedes!  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one!  We then followed him to our apartment in a farmhouse.  On a farm. 

Welcome Back!

Not to you - to me!  Climbing out of my shell, maybe - just maybe - I will blog again.  Got another new template.  We'll see how it works - getting very rusty on my skills.  Basically, this post is a test to see how it looks.  Hopefully the next post will have something of substance.

Freshen Up!

Through one of my blogging buddies blogs (see the mini pics on the left), I found a contest to win a new Blogger Template!  I'm hoping to update my blog site to be a bit brighter and lighter and have some nice features.  Wish me luck - it's a random drawing, so I'm crossing my fingers.  Some of the templates I like are:

         

          

    

  What do you think?

My Bike

Today I picked up my bike from Marty's Bike Shop.  Two unfortunate incidents occurred last year that put the bike out of commission: flattening of the tires and an attempt to steal it.  When it was stolen, it was ridden down the block and then dumped in a neighbor's yard because the tires were flat.  Now there is a new wheel and it's tuned up and ready to go. 

Cyprus 

With my Cateye bike computer, I can keep track of ... my bike riding (as soon as I learn how to use it!).  I also found a great site for logging everything I do: figuring out mileage of my rides, looking at maps - it works for walks and hikes, too.  MapMyRide will even find riders in your area!  It's almost as fun as riding!  So far, I've been taking easy rides.  Slight hills are work for me right now.  Trips down the street to the drugstore, etc. are now made on my bike.  I will save drops of gas by the gallon! 

If you are thinking about or just want to read about riding, my inspiration came from Zen Habits: Commuting by Bike. (one of my favorite blogs).  Happy Trails!

The Rule of Four

I'm working on my thoughts about the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, posted recently on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This post is about the Fourth Truth. From Alex's blog:

4. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. For some, childhood was pleasant, almost idyllic. But for others, when there has been serious physical, sexual or emotional abuse it is important to recognize this and process this with a trained professional. No matter your past, change is the essence of life. In order to move forward in life we need to learn to live in the present.

This one hit closest to home for me.  How long can a situation that existed 30 years ago haunt someone?  Oh, about 30 years or so.  A professional can guide the process of recognizing past traumas.  To recognize is to identify the event(s).  This is different than describing - most of us know what happened to us.  In order to explain our past, we need to look at it through the eyes of an observer.  Why?  Because our vision is clouded by memories and stuck on rewind, playing the same tape over and over without alteration.  There are many other facets and by looking at them, we start to break up our tape.  Once the past is recognized, we are supposed to process it.  (put it in the blender and hit whip)

Progress; passage: the process of time; events now in process. To gain an understanding or acceptance of; come to terms with: processed the traumatic event in therapy.

An example: Mom has schizoaffective and bipolar disorders.  She has been hospitalized and medicated, received shock treatments and therapy, attempted suicide numerous times and spent days if not weeks in deep depression, locking herself in her room.  We were kids.  I was the oldest.  Sometimes she was manic, staying up all night playing the piano or rearranging the furniture.  On other manic occasions, she would go out drinking and playing cards (for money).  I remember feeding her, calling an ambulance when (and only if) she was unconscious, having holiday meals in the psych ward, seeing her restrained with leather straps, trying to take care of the four of us kids when she couldn't and having babysitters, nannies and grandma come before I was old enough.  I grew up picturing her funeral.  Every day.  For the next 30 years or so.  My psychologist pointed out many things that never entered my mind such as mom being extremely manipulative.  My dad would tell me that there was nothing I could do, releasing me from the burden of the responsibility I felt to make everything better.  A self-help book said that people learn good coping skills (as well as poor) growing up in an unhealthy environment.  When I began to hold on to ideas such as these, my mental recording that had been stuck on the previous description started to break up.  Just when I noticed that I was feeling better....

After living on her own and being stabilized as much as possible, mom fell and eventually had to stay in a nursing home.  When I go to see her, she is angry and says many of the things I heard as a child:  you kids don't care about me; I don't want to live anymore; I'm in so much pain, etc.  This took me back so fast, I physically felt the rush to the past.  Only this time, I wasn't a child who didn't understand.  Now I see much more and know that things will not change and that I should not feel guilty.  What I know and what I feel are quite different.  But this time, I know how to get help processing.

Truth #3

I ran across the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This post is about the Third Truth. From Alex's blog:

3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place. By nature, we are emotional creatures. Often we live and react based on feelings, not logic. Feelings are wonderful, but when we become tied to a particular thought or belief we tend to ignore the fact that change might be necessary. If a negative behavior is driven by an emotion, then we must find a way to still satisfy the emotional need while putting an end to the destructive behavior.

Have you ever had an idea, feeling, past hurt, resentment, envy or emotion that you just couldn't shake?  Are you still mad about something?  Is your reaction to an event or person different than the reaction of others?  A very common example is former significant others.  For example, because you hate/hated the fact that your ex did _________, you dislike anyone else who _________.  Envy creates ideas that are not logical.  My ex would not visit a BrandX gas station because I had had a boyfriend that owned a BrandX gas station.  Now realize that we crossed the country a few times and he refused to stop and get gas there no matter what.  That's an extreme example, but to test your logic, try it on someone else.  Picture a friend having the same negative behavior that you experience based on your logic.  Seems silly, doesn't it? 

But how do we satisfy the emotional need that drives this thought or belief?  First, identify the original event.  What feeling or thought is tied to this event?  What caused these ideas?  Let's say the event was a perceived slight and the feelings are embarrassment and hurt.  What emotional needs drive those feelings?  A need for self-esteem, comfort and understanding.  How can these needs be fulfilled in order to remove this idea?  Identifying requirements that satisfy these needs varies from individual to individual, but an example will help:

1. A perceived slight causes feelings of embarrassment and hurt.
2. Whenever we are in a similar situation or around the person who we feel slighted us, these negative feelings occur again.
3. Deciding to fulfill the needs of comfort and understanding, we find something that fulfills these needs.
4. Take a course of action which may be something like: a mantra saying "I am not who this person says I am"; a soothing activity such as a walk to clear your mind; a talk with a friend who understands; picturing an eraser clearing the idea, etc.
5. Now decide on a new positive thought to replace the old - use it when you are reminded of the past:  "I choose to feel good about myself"; "Others' opinion or view are not my reality"; or my favorite - take the old and replace it with the opposite.

Leave a comment on how you've overcome a negative thought or behavior!  I would love to hear from you!

The 200th Post!!

Congratulations to me on my 200th post!! Umm I think this one is the 200th, but it may be the previous post. Somewhere around here! Other news: My better half has started a blog and his very first post is great! Check it out at: Right of Center Ramblings.

Nickelodeon Parents Picks

The Stow-Munroe Falls Public Library's Children's Department has been nominated for TWO Parents Picks awards: Best little kids Public Library and best big kids Public Library. Here's the info:

What does it all mean? Well, from May 19 - June 30, your business--along with all of the other ParentsConnect.com Parents' Picks Nominees--will be featured as our "top picks". All of our members will be encouraged to vote to determine who wins the official Parents Picks Awards! Visit ParentsConnect.com/ParentsPicks and select a city to see a list of the nominees.

Not only do we have a great library, but our online resources are great too. Visit the SMFPL website and check out the Children's Department! Go to ParentsConnect.com and vote - I did and so far the results show SMPFL in the lead!!

The New Guy

Aydn Robert

Sunday, June 1, 2008

7 lb, 9 oz, 17 in long

The French Bulldog

Our French Bulldog Mattie is our baby. She follows us around, sleeps with us and loves us a lot. Frenchies are ugly to the point of cute and are often mistaken for pugs for those who are not familiar with the breed. Here's a look at the colors: First is Mattie, who is brindle, then a black/white frenchie, fawn, and white.

French Bulldogs are becoming more well-known. Martha Stewart has had hers on her show and the cover of magazines. A white frenchie costarred appeared in the movie Secondhand Lions(which I highly recommend not for that reason alone). Patty Hearst's (yes, that Patty Hearst) Frenchie won Best of Breed in 2008.

French Bulldog Did You Know?

• It is fairly well established that one of the ancestors of the French Bulldog is, not surprisingly, the English Bulldog (most likely one of the toy variety).
• Two distinctive features of the French Bulldog are its bat ears and half-flat, half-domed skull.
• Originally called the Boule-Dog Francais, though the english later scoffed at the idea of calling an English dog by a French name.
• Had it not been for the objections of American fanciers, the bat ear of the French Bulldog would have been bred out of the breed and replaced with a rose ear, resulting in a miniaturized version of the English Bulldog.
• The first specialty club was the French Bulldog Club of America, and fanciers gave a specialty show in the ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria in NYC in 1989, the first specialty show to be held in such deluxe quarters. Receiving serious press coverage, French Bulldogs were thrust into vogue, reaching a peak in 1913 with an entry of 100 at the Westminster Kennel Club.
• While bred primarily as pets and companions, Frenchies are remarkably intelligent and serve as good watchdogs.

From The American Kennel Club

No offense to French Bulldogs or the AKC, but Mattie is not very intelligent nor a good watchdog. She has a very limited number of things she can do and things that she knows. She will bark at unfamiliar sounds, but make fast friends with anyone who speaks kindly and will pet her. If you are thinking about adding a Frenchie to your family, please use the links in this post to see if they are for you. If so, congratulations! you are about to own one of the most cute, funny and friendly dogs. They are great lap dogs, love to play and go for walks and/or nap whenever you do - in fact, Mattie will insist on a nap if I am home during the day.

French Bulldog Link Directory

Truth Two

I ran across the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This post is about the Second Truth. From Alex's blog:

2. We are what we do. We are not what we think, or what we feel, or what we say, we are what we do. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. If you are unhappy with a particular part of your life, take a strong look at what you are doing to be happier.

As someone who has bipolar disorder, I need to remind myself that I am not what I think or feel. Thoughts and feelings become distorted by an unhealthy mind. For example:

FALSE	True
My life sucks.	My life is good and I have been blessed.
I hate this.	This is not bad.
Things are hopeless.	Things are never hopeless.
Fear	This will not kill me.
Sadness	Sadness is only a symptom of depression.
Despair	There are an infinite number of things that are worse.
I am so alone.	I am never alone. I have family, friends and God.
People are critical of me.	I don't know what people think of me, nor should I base my happiness on others.
No one knows how I feel.	Many others have depression and suffer the same feelings.

One the other side of the coin, I tend to go on about making positive changes, referring to myself as kind, honest, wise and a general all-around goody goody. Those words do not necessarily mean that's how I act. It's how I want to act. But what do I really do?? What did I do today that was kind? Did I tell the truth today or try to hide something that I don't like about myself in order to look good? Have I helped anyone using what I know? Do I use any wisdom that I think I have to build others up or put them down by pointing out what they don't know? Can I be helpful with humility? My goal: to include on my daily task list actions that back up my words.

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

I ran across the 30 Essential Truths according to Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, on Alex Blackwell's great blog The Next 45 Years. Some of them hit very close to home. This will be a post about the First Truth. From Alex's blog:

1. If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the map is wrong. We are given mental maps as children. Our parents and other adults tell us what is right and what is wrong – sometimes they don’t always get it, well, right. Now as adults, when we find the maps we have relied on for so long can get us lost, we need to recalibrate and create more reliable guides based on what we now know to be true and where we want to go.

It took me a very long time to realize that changing my map would be good for finding my way. For example, a 'good guy' according to mom was someone who bought you nice things, had money, and treated you well. The goal: have someone, be dating, get married - anything else: failure. According to dad, a brain surgeon was the best job a person could have. He often told me that I could be a brain surgeon. When I became a college student business was the best major. When he told me the facts of life, he drew two squares: one home; the other work. He drew a line from home, saying 'you go to work' then going back the same way, 'and then you go home' You go to work, go home, work, home, work...and those are the facts of life.

My map says: A 'good guy' accepts your authentic self; cares about your needs and dreams; loves you. My map says: a relationship is not a requirement for life; you are responsible for your own happiness; in order to love you must love yourself first. My map says: follow your dreams; do what you love; don't forget to have fun. I'm not as cynical or practical anymore. I can look back and see the how and why of poor choices in relationships. My map will keep changing and improving my journey. How about yours?

Planting Seeds, Growing a Blog

As you can see in my sidebar, I'm trying a few new blogger promotion tools. If you click on the RSS button, you can subscribe in a feed reader which is super easy even if you don't know anything about it. There will be some choices like Yahoo, AOL, Google for your reader. For my visitors who are AOL users, just click there. If you have iGoogle (like me, which is fun!) you can add it to either your iGoogle page or your Goggle reader. If you have problems or questions, just leave me a comment. You can subscribe to anything - it's like having your own custom magazine on your computer.
I'm trying a couple of site-sharing tools that are designed to increase traffic. The first is Entrecard. They have a free ebook to explain the card system. You can link all your blogs, advertise on other blogs, drop cards and find a lot of interesting blogs that you might not run across in your everyday surfing. If you have a blog and want to join, it is a nice community - check out the forums. Lots of people are into money making for their blogs. There are also many casual bloggers like me just trying new things.
The other is BlogUpp, just about the opposite type of blog promoting tool. One page to start using it, nothing else to do, keep track of, participate in - I will not lift another finger, which is just my style. The two mini-pages in the sidebar are websites to visit provided by BlogUpp.
One more new tool I use is del.ico.us , a social bookmark site. Instead of filling my browser bookmarks with everthing I want to save, now I can post it to del.ico.us, add tags, share, search, find new links. You can try it by clicking the link at the left and adding this post!
StumbleUpon is a fun way to find and save sites. If you do searches, you can sometimes see the icon and rating next to some of the links in your search results list. My son mentioned StumbleUpon to me a long time ago - I should have checked it out sooner.
Hit me with an questions. I'm no expert, so any help won't be too technical!

Pink Floyd

Here are some real, live Pink Floyd album covers:
Use the link above to get the wallpaper!

Missing: One Gallbladder

Yesterday I had outpatient gallbladder surgery. It went very well. The last surgery I had was for a deviated septum and was not worth the pain and discomfort. My heartburn, acid reflux and nausea of the last couple of months became very annoying and I'm looking forward to having a happy gut. The endoscopy a few weeks ago was more distressing for me, but once past that, I felt fine. Because of my dad and daughter's difficulties, I was very apprehensive going in for the endoscopy, which is not like me at all. Since that was such a piece of cake, I was actually looking forward to the gallbladder surgery since I was so uncomfortable. Now I am gallbladder-less and recovering. The surgery was laparoscopic, which means the surgeon made an incision right below my bellybutton. But that's not all - oh no - there are three other incisions: one in the middle right below my sternum and two on the side around the gallbladder area. So my tummy is sore but the pain medication helps with that. I can't work or drive until I go back to the doctor in 7-10 days. Everyone at home is being very helpful - thank you to hubby, son, and the baby mamas.

My List of Ten Numbered Lists of Stuff

The Internet is full of lists. Apparently some people will only read things that are in a numbered list. Some of the lists are really good. Some are really funny. Here's my list of my favorite lists:

1. 129 of the World's Healthiest Foods
2. 101 Web Resources for Students
3. 101 Online Self Improvement Resources
4. 70 Simple Power Tao Secret Hacks to Writing the Perfect Productivity Article Plus a Guide & System for Doing It
5. 52 Easy Ways to Optimize Your Blog
6. Time - Top 50 Websites of 2007
7. 20 Inspiring Quotes from Mother Teresa
8. 10 Tips for Life's Greatest Challenge: Love Thy Enemy
9. The Daily Decalogue of Pope John XXIII
10. The #1 Way to Shake Up Your Life

The Gratitude Campaign

My son-in-law is being deployed to Egypt in September for a year. He is in the Army National Guard. He and my daughter have a one year old baby (Raelynn, the sunshine of my life) who is having a birthday party tomorrow! It is a wonderful thought to thank all of our military men and women who may be spending time away from their families to help defend our families and other families around the world.

Never Again

Those words keep playing over and over in my head.  These are the words that are true.  Holocaust survivor Primo Levi:  "It has happened once, and it could all happen again."

Never Again

'Never again' is the rallying cry for all who believe that mankind must speak out against genocide.
Jon Corzine

www.freeburma.org

Never Again

I hope that the German people will never again make the mistake of believing that because the American people are peace-loving, they will sit back hoping for peace if any nation uses force or the threat of force to acquire dominion over other peoples and other governments.
James F. Byrnes

www.freeburmacoalition.org

Never Again

“The Security Council has today said that in the 21st century, the world will not tolerate genocide or crimes against humanity.”  Nicola Reindorp

uscampaignforburma.org

Never Again

Never again should the international community’s response to these crimes be found wanting.  Rwandan President Paul Kagame

burma.usembassy.gov

Never Again

"On occasions such as this, rhetoric comes easily. We rightly say 'never again.' But action is much harder. Since the Holocaust the world has, to its shame, failed more than once to prevent or halt genocide." UN Secretary General Kofi Annan

Red Cross/Burma

Never Again

“Never again must we be shy in the face of the evidence” of genocide...Bill Clinton

Burma Project/Southeast Asia Initiative

Never Again

We wish to remember.
But we wish to remember for a purpose, namely
to ensure that never again evil will prevail. ...
Only a world at peace, with justice for all,
can avoid repeating the mistakes and terrible crimes of the past.
.John Paul II, Yad Vashem, March 23, 2000

humanrightsactioncenter.org

Two Peas in a Pod

Two peas in a pod Began to nod

Off when Nana Sang them a song

                           

This little pea is Avah and this little pea is named Rae

Trauma Class

Hubby took a trauma class last week. They had cool props like wounds that squirted blood and got to practice sticking tubes down each others' noses. For example, they got to drag victims to safety:

Hubby's nose tube: