The thing about the first Father's Day without dad is that this time last year we were all at the Outer Banks here. We had a hat and jacket made for dad that said 'Ernie' as a joke from the fishing charter trip the year before where the captain kept calling out to dad 'God damn it Ernie - get your bait in the water!' We put the hat in his casket. My brothers and I went to the cemetery yesterday. That's the first time I've been to a cemetery to visit - not attending a funeral. There's no headstone yet and there's grass starting to grow there. It's really not a place that I would 'visit' dad. It makes me think about the casket, the funeral home, and dad being sick. One of my step-brothers and his family went to the Outer Banks for vacation this year - now there's a place to be visiting and reminiscing. Hopefully, we'll be able to go next year. It will be different, but life is different now with dad gone and grand babies here. Life is changing all the time. Sometimes it takes me a while to rest in order catch up to the changes.